User blog:LexPetitxVampire/The Mad Mother part 1

The day wasn’t overcast but it wasn’t sunny at the same, maddening time – it was filled to the brim with big, towering clouds with light bruising. Were they threatening with rain or had they all simply been in a fight with each other? But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love a beaten up sky – it made the lush, green surroundings around us that much more vibrant! My mother and I were in my step-grandfather’s golden pick-up truck hurtling down a one lane highway in Washington State. The roadside purple weeds had caught my eyes and held my gaze as we zoomed by them, going well over the speed limit.

My eyes would flicker from time to time into the woods, where I’d gaze in past the pine trees and if I were lucky not to be halted by even more pine trees blocking my view, I could see a few feet into the dense wilderness that surrounded our truck.

I had grown up playing in those woods, and knew them like the back of my hands. I glanced down at my chipped nail polished hands and a smile broke out across my face and quickly disappeared upon my face.

I had glanced at my golden wedding ring, and all at once, I missed my husband. But the real reason I had looked at my pale hands was because I knew I didn’t look too different from when I was a child – due to a disorder – but it was weird being back, not just because I was seeing my old childhood home, but because I was now a mother. My young daughter was at home with my husband, while me and my mom were out.

My mother looked down at my purse which sat in my lap, a round keychain jiggled with all the little bumps in the rough, untaken care of road beneath us. She snarled at the design, it was the logo to a fictional company from a beloved video game franchise of mine, but my mother never quite grew used to the fact that as a mother and adult myself, I still allowed time for such silly pastimes. A mid-spring wind blew into the truck as I rolled down my window. The cold wind made my face burn. If she had it her way, I’d be the perfect housewife with absolutely no personality to speak of. Not thank you.

My mother sped past a sign that welcomed us to Maple Valley and the sign shivered from the speed she used to go past it. The sky finally opened up and it began to rain – typical for Washington. I rolled up my window as my mother turned on the radio, and a woman popped on talking about a little girl who had gone missing. That broke my heart, I couldn’t ever imagine my little daughter going missing. Well, I could, but it would fucking destroy me.

The woman rambled on about what she had been wearing, and I tried my hardest not to think about my little girl, there was a bit of happiness when she talked about a search party being organized for the lost little girl. My mother slammed the radio off, probably due to the anger that I had never been a missing child – I’m not saying my mother didn’t love me, but any opportunity she had, she wanted to make it all about her. If I had gone missing, everyone would be showing her sympathy. And I felt my eyes begin to prick.

I mean, she couldn’t have slammed that radio off for me, to get my mind off my own daughter going missing, could she have? No. That’d be some pretty wild shit. No amount of I’m so sorry or sorry for your loss could ever bring my daughter back to me, half a million of those two could probably start to ease my own mother’s pain.

“How’s things been going, mom?” I finally spoke.

“I’m surprised you came with me, I mean, you called the cops on your mother!” came her short reply.

“Mom, that was three years ago, I thought we were over that? Remember what your therapist said?” I reminded my mother.

“I’m sorry about the radio. I know you’d be real torn up if anything happened to Jolene.”

“Yeah, I would be. I’d be in real bad shape. I love her,” I said. I always felt so funny talking about my daughter in front of my mother. I had my reasons for why, but I don’t think they matter much to this story.

She rolled down her window and a rush of pine scented air spiced the air in the truck. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“I was just stating a fact was all. Can we not talk about children? I don’t wanna fight.”

“Why do you always think we’ll fight, huh? Can’t talk to your dear ol’ mommy? Too good for me anymore?” she snarled, tightening her grip around the steering wheel. “I’m sorry princess, but show me some fucking respect! If I wanna talk about your horribly named daughter, then I fucking will!”

A strained silence settled upon the truck. I sighed. Defeated. I hated it when my mom got this way. Suddenly, my mom took a side turn that led us to a dirt path into the forest. This wasn’t where the destination was. I could tell you that much.

“If the manners I taught you didn’t stick when you were younger, they’ll stick now,” said my mother, parking the car. Apprehension filled my mind. From the glove box, she got out a knife and snapped it open, and pointed the blade at me. My insides boiled with sick, with acid. “I suggest you run, little girl.”

I tore my eyes from the cold mountains in front of us. “You can’t be serious, can you?” I yelped. But I didn’t need to be told twice or if she was serious, I saw my answer in her eyes, I got out and booked it into the forest. I jumped over a broken wooden gate, wishing I could safely stop and listen to the nature and be inspired, but there was no time. Thick rolling clouds started to spread across the sky. My mother had finally snapped. I jumped down off a ledge that was overgrown with moss and mushrooms and looked around, I had no idea where I was, or which way I needed to run to go home.